


I Will Sing No Requiem

by flarrow_huntbastian



Category: Glee
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Character Death, Dear Evan Hansen References, F/M, Hurt Blaine Anderson, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Other, Self Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-05 23:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19050646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flarrow_huntbastian/pseuds/flarrow_huntbastian
Summary: Marley's brother committed suicide; Blaine's best friend committed suicide.  The two of them deal with the same death in different ways.  To make matters worse, a month after his death the school decide what the school musical will be... Dear Evan Hansen.





	1. Chapter 1

 The call that changed her life forever.  She remembers being in Glee when it happened.  Her and her brother had had an argument the night before so when he called her she didn’t answer.  Why didn’t she just answer? She should have known something was wrong since he knew she had Glee, he wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important.  It was when her Mom called she picked up.  She remembers taking a five minute break in Glee and seeing her phone light up.  She sensed it, she knew it wasn’t good when she answered.  She then remembers hearing her Mom’s sobs down the phone and she remembers falling to her knees on the hard floor.  She remembers Jake sitting next to her, asking her what’s wrong, trying to get words out of her.  Then she remembers Blaine’s phone ringing and Blaine giving her a look after ending his call.  He knew, he was the second person to know after her.  Wordlessly Blaine took her hand, helped her up and left the choir room taking her to his car, not even telling the Glee club they were going. They just left.  She remembers that she didn’t cry and neither did Blaine, and three weeks later they still hadn’t.

 

“This year’s musical will be…” Mr Schue yelled happily, “Dear Evan Hansen!”

The room erupted in an array of teens discussing their excitement for the show.  Everyone had a look of joy and readiness on their face, everyone apart from Marley and Blaine who looked to one another with frowns on their faces. 

“Mr Schue!?”  Asked Marley,

“Yes Marley,” Replied Mr Schue,

“Are you sure that musical is appropriate? I mean, doesn’t it talk in depth about suicide…”  Marley argued,

“Oh come on! No one here is stupid enough to actually do it!”  Jake argued.

Marley’s face fell further if possible before she stood up and swiftly left the room.  Blaine shot Jake a glare before hurrying out.

“Marley, wait!” He called as he followed her.

He followed her down towards the abandoned stairwell in the back of the school.  He saw her sit down on the stairs and put her head in her hands.

“Marley, it’s okay.”  He said as he approached her, “I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”  
Marley looked up.

“It’s not that Blaine. Why that musical?  Out of all of the musicals the school could have chosen, why that one?!”  Marley angrily spoke.

“I don’t know Marley.” Blaine sat down next to Marley and put an arm around her. “But it’s okay to be upset”

“I’m not upset Blaine!”  Marley yelled standing up “He chose to do it!  He made his choice and left us to pick up the pieces!  He’s ripped my family apart! He doesn’t get to break me too!”

“Marley, I understand… I get it.”  Blaine interrupted, “Look, I loved him too.  He was just like my brother and I know it’s not the same since he was, is yours but I get it. I understand okay.” 

Blaine stood up and pulled Marley into a hug.

“Why is he always so selfish?”  She asked quietly, “Even though he’s dead, he’s still controlling the narrative”.

“I know… I know…” Blaine soothed.

A few minutes later Blaine and Marley decided to return to Glee.  It was always hard for them both to be in the choir room, knowing that that’s where they received the news.  When they sat down Mr Schue pulled Blaine aside and set everyone off to work.

“Blaine, can I talk to you for a minute?”  He asked, leading Blaine into the office.

The two sat down.

“How are you doing Blaine?”  He asked

“I’m fine Mr Schue, really.”  Blaine replied.

“Blaine I can see that you’re not. Look I know you feel the need to comfort Marley and I understand that you want to be there for her, but don’t let your own health slip because of it.”  Mr Schue spoke calmly.

“Mr Schue, I promise I’m fine.”

“Blaine, I know this makes you uncomfortable but cam I see your wrists?”  Mr Schue asked, moving to sit in a chair directly opposite Blaine, within touching distance.

“Mr Schue, I haven’t….”  
Mr Schue interrupted Blaine, “I know but I need to check, I’m sorry.”

Blaine carefully rolled up his sleeves, exposing a multitude of scars littered up his arms, none of them were new though.  Mr Schue took Blaine’s arm in his hand and carefully inspected the scars just so he could be sure.

“Does Marley know?”  Asked Mr Schue,

“No.  She can’t know!”  Blaine spoke up suddenly, “I don’t want her to think she’d loose me the same way she lost her brother.  I’ve been clean for six months.”

“It’s okay Blaine.” Mr Schue soothed.  “I understand.  Anyway, I have some good news for you.  Now I know you can audition for whoever you choose but I really want you to go for Evan and I want Marley to go for Zoe.  I think it would be good for both of you, you’re the only ones who could bring real emotion to it.”  
“I’ll think about it, I can’t promise that either of us will even audition but I’ll consider it.”

With that Blaine rolled down his sleeves and left Mr Schue’s office.

As usual after school instead of going home he drove Marley and her mother home and joined them for tea.  Then after dinner he and Marley go upstairs and chat for hours, then Marley’s Mom will tell him it’s late and so if he wants to stay the guest room is free and he’ll stay the night and then drive Marley and her mother back to the school in the morning.

When Blaine drops Marley and her Mom off at the school Blaine would drive around. Today when Blaine drove around he started thinking.  Thinking about how he’d first met Marley’s brother.  How his smile brightened his day, how he used to joke about him blowing away because he was so thin, how he was the happiest around him.  As he flipped through all of the memories he came to the ones of meeting Kurt, how Kurt hated Marley’s brother.  Blaine never understood why Marley kept her brother a secret until he realised quite how unstable he truly was.

Marley’s dad was mentally abusive, when Marley’s Mom left him Marley went with her but her brother refused, knowing that his Mom could never afford to look after both of them.  Granted their farther was rich but she couldn’t get a penny of him when she left.  Marley’s brother would send checks once a month, just to help out.  But Blaine used to get calls, calls from her brother.  He would be crying down the phone, telling Blaine how he couldn’t do it anymore.  Blaine would always tell him that he was on his way but Sebastian would insist on coming to see him.  Then Blaine would say that he was in no condition to drive.  Blaine would then go and pick up Sebastian and they would either go to the park or they would go and get coffee.  Then there were some nights where he didn’t call but he would just show up at Blaine’s house, either crying or scarily happy.  When he was happy it usually ended in some form of panic attack in Blaine’s room. 

It was always different around other people.  If it was just Blaine and Marley’s brother then he would be open, and emotional and overall a nice person to be around, there were still secrets but it was never that bad.  When it was Blaine, Marley, her brother and their mother then there were more secrets, but Blaine understood that since her brother didn’t want her and her Mom knowing how bad things really were with her dad, it was still good though.  He was still a nice guy.  Then there was him around everyone else, he became the snarky, arrogant, in your face guy everyone knew and hated.  No one knew that he and Marley were related, maybe because they were just too different around people.  But that’s not the guy Blaine knew.

Blaine stopped his car, over run by emotions that made him go cold.  He was at seven-eleven.  He walked in and by habit went to the medical isle and picked out a pack of bandages and a pack of antiseptic wipes before walking and picking up a pack of razors.  It was Mr Schue’s fault.  If he hadn’t brought it up today it wouldn’t be fresh in Blaine’s mind.  Yes he’d considered it but he wasn’t going to relapse, but no, Mr Schue brought it up.  He made his way towards the bathroom in the shop after paying.  He couldn’t wait, he had to do it now, just to take the edge off.  Blaine locked the door and hastily pulled up his sleeve.  He ripped the packet of razors open and set to work on his arms.  Cutting line after line.  As he went he thought about everything that had happened in the last month.

“Fuck sake!”  Blaine cursed when he realised what he was doing, his arm was covered in blood and luckily he was in black jeans so it wasn’t obvious it was blood. 

Blaine ripped open the antiseptic wipes and hastily wipes over the cuts before wrapping bandages around them and rolling his sleeve back down.  He sat there for a minute, calming his breathing. 

“Why…”  Blaine muttered as he started to let tears slip for the first time in over a month.

“Why did you have to do it?” He cried, “Why didn’t you just call me?”  
Blaine cried. 

“I miss you so fucking much…” He continued, “I love you, I loved you… I still love you so fucking much…. I love you Sebastian…”  Blaine cried as he curled up in a ball in the corner of the seven-eleven bathroom and sobbed.


	2. Chapter 2

Period three most people had free so they met in the choir room.  They were all chatting happily and messing around until Mr Schue entered looking worried.

“Mr Schue what's wrong?”  Asked Joe,

“Have any of you seen Blaine today?”  He replied,

“He drove me and my Mom in this morning, he told me he was going to park and meet me inside but he was acting a little off, I mean he didn’t eat breakfast this morning.”  Marley explained, “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him since he said he’d meet me indoors.”

“Okay.” Mr Schue replied, “Maybe he’s just sick.”

“Yeah, probably,” Marley replied.

They continued to chat and rehearse auditions whilst Mr Schue retreated into his office.

He sat behind his desk and pulled out his phone. He unlocked it and began to scroll through his call history.  He’d given Blaine his number when he first found out that Blaine self-harmed.  Blaine called once or twice.  Blaine’s parents were rather neglectful and so there were quite a few nights where Blaine had taken up a residence in his guest room for the night after an emotional call.  On one especially bad night, Blaine had gone for a walk to clear his head after cutting.  He’d thought the bleeding had stopped but apparently, it hadn’t.  He must have passed out while walking since when Mr Schue got a call from him he sounded completely out of it and he said _blood, lots of blood_ and when Mr Schue asked what had happened he responded _I, I walked, I remember falling, then… Then I was here… There’s fuzz in-between…  Help… please!_ It took a while but Mr Schue finally found out where he was but he did and was able to find him and bring him back to his house since Blaine refused to say where he lived.  They spoke for hours.

After scrolling though call after call he finally found Blaine’s number, and this time he saved it as Blaine before hitting call.  It took a while but after three calls Blaine answered, and what Mr Schue heard truly shook him to his core.

“Mr... Mr Schue…”  Cried Blaine,

“Blaine are you okay? Where are you?”  Mr Schue asked carefully,

“Mr Schue… there’s blood… so much blood…”  What came next made Mr Schue rush out of his office startling many of the Glee members.  “Everything’s fuzzy, help… please”  
Mr Schue ignored the cries of shock from the glee club as he rushed out of the choir room and to his car.

“Blaine where are you?”  Mr Schue asked concerned,

“S… Seven-Eleven…”  Blaine stuttered, “I… I don’t know… which”

“It’s okay Blaine.  Keep breathing.” Mr Schue spoke slowly and carefully “Your car is a black Peugeot right?”

“Y.. yes…” Blaine stuttered “Plate C…. C… Q… B…B… 2…2 41.”  
“CQB 241” Mr Schue repeated back,

“Y… yes…” Blaine stuttered.

Mr Schue quickly connected his phone to his car so he could stay on the call while he drove.

“I’m so… I’m so tired…”  Blaine mumbled.

“You need to stay awake, Blaine.  I’m on my way…”

Mr Schue drove around and although it took some time he did eventually find Blaine’s car at the fourth seven-eleven he tried.  He quickly ran into the shop and straight to the bathroom, knocking lightly on the door.  The door unlocked but did not open.  When Mr Schue opened it he saw blood on the tiled floor and Blaine sat leaning against the wall.

“Blaine… What… I mean…”  Mr Schue noticed that Blaine was crying.  “It’s okay.”  He soothed, decided that now was not the time to chastise him.  
After a check over he realised that the cuts weren’t bleeding any more.  Yes, there was a fair amount of blood on the floor and soaked into Blaine’s jeans so it was understandable that Blaine was worried but luckily it didn’t look like he needed the hospital.  Mr Schue quickly helped Blaine to stand and got him out of the shop and to his car.

“W… where are… w…we going?”  Blaine asked,

“We’re going back to mine.  Like we have before okay?”  Mr Schue had learnt from experience with Blaine that when he was in this state he needed something to think back to, like a memory.  “You need to change out of those soaked, stained clothes and you need to eat since Marley said you didn’t eat this morning and you seem to have lost a fair amount of blood.  You also need to sleep since you look like you haven’t slept properly in days.”

Blaine just nodded slightly,

“I know I just said you need sleep but I need you to stay awake until after you eat okay?” Mr Schue said,

“Hmm… Okay…”  Blaine mumbled with his eyes half closed.

“I’m serious Blaine.”  Mr Schue said louder than before, “You Must stay awake.”

Mr Schue managed to keep Blaine talking the whole way back.  They arrived at the house at about midday.  Mr Schue parked the car and saw that Blaine was preparing to get out of the car.

“Wait there, I’ll come round to help you now.”  Mr Schue said,

“It’s fine, I can do it,” Blaine responded,

“Blaine.  Wait” Mr Schue commanded.

Blaine sighed and sunk back in his seat.

Mr Schue closed the car door and walked around to Blaine’s side, opening the door carefully.  Mr Schue reached across and undid Blaine’s seatbelt for him.

“I could have done that…” Blaine complained,

“Blaine, you are falling asleep in your chair right now?”  Mr Schue questioned raising an eyebrow.

Blaine didn’t reply and instead, he started to move his legs and to climb out of the car.  Mr Schue tried to help Blaine but Blaine just pushed his hands away.  Mr Schue decided to let Blaine do it himself but he stayed very close to make sure that nothing bad happened.  As Blaine got to his feet he started to feel dizzy and his knees buckled; he started to fall forwards until Mr Schue caught him and helped him sit back down.

“Let’s try this again and this time, let me help you.” Mr Schue commanded softly.

Mr Schue put an arm around Blaine and slowly helped him to stand.

“Do you think you can walk?” Mr Schue asked softly.  Blaine nodded lightly and went to take a step with assistance with Mr Schue.  As he took a step he lost his footing and would have tumbled forward if Mr Schue hadn’t have been there.  Mr Schue carefully helped Blaine to sit back down for the second time.

“Wait here for a moment.”  Mr Schue said as he walked up to the house front door and unlocked it before returning to Blaine.

Then he carefully pulled Blaine to his feet and then lifted him bridal style.  As Mr Schue lifted him he realised how light Blaine truly was.  It just showed how much Sebastian’s death had affected him.  Once they got inside he carried Blaine up to the guest room and sat him on a chair in the room.  He then went away and returned with some grey sweats and a white t-shirt.

“I know they’ll be a little big but they’ll be fine.”  He said as he helped Blaine up again. 

He then placed the clothes on the arm of the chair along with a pack of wet wipes to remove some of the blood staining Blaine’s legs under his jeans. He then turned to face away from Blaine, holding his hands out backwards in case he needed something to hold onto. 

Once Blaine was changed he helped him to sit up in the bed and he went to get Blaine something to eat and some painkillers just in case he needed them.  When he returned he noticed that Blaine had fallen asleep sitting up.  He gently shook him awake and gave him a bowl of soup with some bread.

Blaine muttered a quiet “thanks” and began to eat slowly.

“Here, take these” Mr Schue instructed, handing Blaine the painkillers along with some water.

Blaine took the painkillers and finished the soup.  Mr Schue took the empty bowl back down to the kitchen and returned to find Blaine with his knees drawn up to his chest.

“What’s wrong?” He asked concerned while pulling up a chair to the side of the bed.

“I… I’m scared,” Blaine responded quietly,

“Of what, Blaine?”

“E… every time I fall asleep I just, I see his face. And he’s always…. He’s covered in blood and he screams out and I can’t get to him and I… I don’t know what to do…”  Tears started to fall from Blaine’s eyes.

“Shhh…” Mr Schue soothed, “it’s okay… What if I stay right here and if you start to have a bad dream I’ll wake you up?”  He suggested.

Blaine nodded lightly.  Mr Schue helped him lie down in the bed before closing the blinds to keep out the sunlight to make it easier to sleep.

“Now get some rest okay.” Mr Schue said as he sat back down and watched the younger boy drift off into a fitful sleep.


End file.
